OUT SAVING THE WORLD

OSTW: Back on the commenting boat
Especially for your anti-Rockford commenting needs!

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 6:01 PM |

Professor McG's Quote of the Day, number 1
"The police were suspicious because there were Californians in Milwaukee in the dead of winter. It's one thing to be fond of bratwurst, but to find a Californian in Milwaukee in the dead of winter means they must be doing drugs."

Hating on the 8-1-5
Seen in Malibu's trendiest shopping area yesterday afternoon: a car with California personalized plates reading "RKFD IL".

My first thought was "who could have that much Rockford pride that they actually want to give a shout out on their license plate?" I mean, really.

But then, it all made sense. It's not an Illinois plate. It's a California plate. In Malibu. For as much as they like Rockford, they sure have gotten the hell out of the place.

On a related note, the I-39/I-90 tolls have gone up by ten cents...it's now $0.65 each way/$1.30 round trip "Rockford tax," or maybe better put, "convenience fee for not having to actually drive through Rockford."

Apologies for bashing the homeland of people I know.

Professor McG's Quote of the Day, number 2
"This is like Criminal Procedure by James Joyce--stream of consciousness. I kind of have the attention span of a moth...but, without the bright spots."

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 1:57 PM |

Professor McG's Quote of the Day
"People on Greyhound buses are likely to be doing drugs."

Coons has a brand new blog. Read it.

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 2:51 PM |

Professor McG's Quote of Two Days Ago
"I don't know about you all, but whenever I see people buying two Mrs. Field's cookies, I think, 'if you bought a third, I could have it.'"

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 1:31 PM |

Things that should keep you up at night
Read Drew-boy's blog.

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 12:57 PM |

Enough Klink-bashing
It looks like they're back. Post away!

Earl Update
I think I killed Earl.

This hasn't been confirmed yet, but it is the initial word from the insurance company...we're sort of at the car equivalent of waiting for the medical examiner to sign the death certificate. For now, I am soccer mom-ing it in a Pontiac Montana minivan courtesy of Enterprise. (Courtesy? I am paying them, after all.)

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 12:56 PM |

Not only are we going to Columbia, we're going to Ashland and Centralia and Rocheport and Sturgeon, and we're going to McBaine and Pierpont and Harg. And we're going to Midway and Boonville and Millersburg and Kingdom City. And then we're going to Jefferson City to see the State Capitol! Yaaaaaaaaaarrrrghhhh!!!

Sorry
JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. -- Couldn't help myself there.

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 11:40 AM |

Earl Non-Update
LOS ANGELES -- The good doctors at Santa Monica Group report that Earl has arrived, but that no real work, estimates of work, or really even paying attention to the poor tank will be done until early next week. So, I wait. But, not really, since I'm about to head to St. Louis and then Columbia, Mo. for Mid-Mo Mock Trial Weekend (plus Tiger basketball).

Update from Boone County? As Johnny would say, Ummmmm....perhaps!

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 4:58 PM |

Professor Jim McG's Quote of The Day
"Duct tape--it's the all-purpose crime hider. You know, I love those Bloomingdale's bags--"small bag" and "medium bag" right on there. You wrap something in duct tape, it might as well say "small bag...of drugs." Just go put a label on it."

Not dead yet, just in serious condition
Earl got hurt today.

Earl, my trusty 1998 Buick LeSabre, fell victim to a sudden traffic slowdown on Pacific Coast Highway, said slowdown not being sufficiently sudden on my part. Earl sits presently in the lot of Malibu Towing...in the morning he'll be towed to Santa Monica Group, which sounds like it could be an actual doctor's office but is actually the Chevrolet-Buick dealership.

Will he live? Too soon to tell. Impact speed was 30-35 mph, so the hood is crumpled and the airbags popped. Beyond the hood/grille and the airbag system, it's anyone's guess. A quick peek under the hood seems to indicate that the amount of under-hood damage is relatively limited beyond about 4 inches into the car. Front bumper's fine, since my "opponent" was an SUV...front bumper pretty much went underneath. The hood, though, appears to be the primary casualty. Stay tuned for further updates tomorrow here at OSTW.

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 10:42 PM |

Train of thought
1. This kid (male, age 11-ish) has been riding his skateboard around Trancas Starbucks for the past hour.

2. After just leaving the store, Starbuck-er Amy said, "Bye, skater boy!"

3. Now "Sk8er Boi" by Avril whatsherface is stuck in my head.

4. Damn it.

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 11:55 PM |

Professor Jim McG's Quote Of Yesterday
Did you hear? They're making all the cows from Canada take off their shoes before they enter the U.S. I sure feel safer now.

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 10:59 PM |

Professor Jim McG's Quote Of The Day
“Very clever, those ZipLoc Bags. They’re like one color on one side, another color on the other side, and then when you seal them they’re a THIRD color. Very clever technology. I always said if the bag people where in charge of that first shuttle that went down it would be safe to fly. They’d just make the first O-ring red, the second one blue or whatever, and if they got the third color it’d all be sealed and safe to fly.”

And speaking of space
Our president wants to put men back on the moon by 2015. Huh? Did Neil Armstrong leave his wallet up there?

We beat the Russians in getting there, established that it was sandy, buncha rocks, not made of cheese (but if it was made out of spare ribs, would'ya eat it?) and otherwise was generally uninteresting.

But now, in the face of nuclear threat from North Korea, mounting casualties and financial costs related to Iraq, struggling job market, etc. etc. etc.--hey! How about we spend some money to set up a base camp on the Moon...so that we can send men to Mars?!?

(It's a simple question. Would you eat the moon if it was made out of ribs?)

I guess sending those little rover deals up to Mars is OK in the name of science (though the Pathfinder showed up on the 1999 AP Physics B test and really messed with my brain on that one essay question) but do we really need to spend money on this? Hell, we don't even have working space shuttles at the moment, and there's probably some poor Russian guy that's been up there for three years in a modified 1978 Yugo with heat shields and oxygen tanks. Despite the hard-on Grumman and all of the space contractors probably have about this plan, how about we spend these billions of dollars on prescription drugs for old people? Wait, that would piss off the pharmaceutical industry. Can't have *that.* The only time we should be spending $500 billion to send guys into space is when Liv Tyler is involved and we need to blow up a big-ass asteroid.

Unless, of course, the asteroid is made out of spare ribs. Wouldya eat it?

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 9:38 PM |

Will This Year Really Be Better Than The Last?
Hope springs eternal.

But, the following items in the first 13 days of 2004 have limited the hopes for the dawning of an entirely new age:
FS '03 grades: average
Mizzou basketball: sucks
Green Bay Packers: heartbreaking
Homework: still tedious

Mock The Casbah
I spent the weekend judging mock trial at the UCLA Invitational. A good reminder of why I decided to show up to law school in the first place. I miss the courtroom.

Some Non-Depressing Things
Malibu weather: Sunny and mid-60s.
Milwaukee Bucks: Above .500
Boone County, Mo.: Will be back Jan. 23-25

Thanks
To everyone who sent e-mail or cards expressing sympathy and/or holiday cheer. You are all the best.

A New OSTW Feature
It's called Professor Jim McG's Quote Of The Day. This man is easily in the top 5 funniest professors of all time...he may even take the trophy.

From last week: "Don't buy any extra books for this class, just go buy TiVo. I consider it a friend. It is so sweet. It is so damn sweet. It is the best relationship I have had in the past ten years."

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 9:37 PM |

2003...2004
A long December, and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin'
Now the days go by so fast

And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven
I wish you would

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl

And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think you might come to California
I think you should

Drove up to Hillside Manor, sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
Makes you talk a little lower
About the things you could not show her

And it's been a long December, and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean
I guess I should

I'm J-Dub and I approve this message at 5:40 AM |